


That Which Was Lost

by Madtom_Publius



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, American Revolution RPF
Genre: M/M, Mentions Of Infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6291469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madtom_Publius/pseuds/Madtom_Publius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war, there were times when Hamilton was tempted to find camaraderie with another man. But he constantly found himself haunted by the specter of the one who had come before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Which Was Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr by publius-esquire, edited for grammar and tweaked for content. Takes place around the late 1780s or early 1790s.

“You can’t seem to keep yourself out of debt, can you?”

 

Alexander tried to keep his tone friendly and jovial, but the judgment came through his voice all the same. He tried to make up his rebuke by pouring his guest another glass of scotch. If he had offended Aaron, he certainly made no show of it, just pressing his thin lips together for a smile before sipping the liquor. “I have a weakness for bestowing gifts to friends,” was his excuse, leaning back in his chair.

 

“A friend of the fairer sex this time?”

 

Burr only smiled. 

 

“A lover, perhaps?”

 

“A gentleman never tells.”

 

Taking another gulp of his own drink, Hamilton laughed at that. “Be careful, I doubt your wife would appreciate such intimacy.”

 

The man across from him shook his head. Hamilton would know. “I hide nothing from Theodosia. In fact,” he raised his dark eyebrows high on his forehead, “she is never lacking for _female company_ if she so chooses. And she knows she cannot be jealous if I also incline for the camaraderie of other women.”

 

Alexander’s smile widened. “The sentiments of feminine attachment know no bounds.”

 

Burr merely took another sip.

 

Copying his guest’s posture, Hamilton tapped his finger against the glass in his hands. “What about the _company_ of men?”

 

Lowering his drink, Aaron blinked before asking too innocently, “Whatever do you mean?”

 

“Would Theodosia be jealous if you found camaraderie with another man?” Alexander studied Aaron’s reaction, watching as his hard eyes bore into him. He didn’t fluster, didn’t stutter over his tongue. Burr always hated showing external signs of the inner workings of his mind; it was what made him so dangerous. But Alexander did not think it would be difficult to seduce such a man. Burr was already so infamous for his amorous adventures, but though he had not yet ventured outside of nature’s bounds, Hamilton figured it would not take much coaxing to convince him to. He was so fast and loose with his morals, what was this on top of everything else? And Alexander believed Aaron would likely agree that between them it wouldn’t technically be considered adultery. Not really. Not that that would have been a hurdle to such explorations. 

 

What sort of lover would Burr be, he wondered? He wasn’t particularly hard to look at. Perhaps his receding hair line made him look older, but he had beautiful dark eyes; and Alexander had always loved black eyes. Certainly he wouldn’t balk at any of his more unorthodox requests; Aaron may have descended from the great American preachers, but he could never have been mistaken for a prude. Was he a romantic, preferring all the little habits necessary to persuade a partner into activities, or did he prefer to skip directly to the action? Would Burr constantly try to be the more dominant partner? He did not give off airs of being particularly passive, and Alexander thought indeed that Aaron would most likely be a bit rough between the sheets if given the chance; though nothing was necessarily wrong with that, if he were in the mood. And as well versed in sex as his fellow New Yorker was, it wouldn’t take much technique coaching in the needs shared between their gender to shed him of any endearing maidenly naïveté. But once they had sated themselves, what sort of partner would Aaron become? In the back of his mind, Alexander suspected that once the deed was done, Aaron would be the like to remove himself from the situation and come down on his own.

 

No. Burr might become a sexual partner, but he’d never become a lover. Passion would be all that held their union together. It could not be anything based on reliance, for Hamilton could not trust him. Already in politics Burr had proven to be unprincipled and self-indulgent. They might share fervent nights in the bed, but this particular paramour could never be a political ally, which would have been so much sweeter. He did not doubt Aaron could kiss, but his kisses would never be chaste, as his previous partner’s could be. He would not kiss him to simply kiss him. Aaron would not come over to rub his shoulders when he was bent over a pamphlet, and give his own opinion as to an honest solution for a problem in the government. Everything Burr did would be a signal something else was wanted in return. On a base level, Alexander could understand that; a man did have needs, after all. But he had been spoiled by the one who had come before. It was frustrating the hold this ghost had on him, how tight its ghoulish hold could have on his soul when he would sometimes have it buried for good. 

 

Across from him, Burr titled his head. “What are you insinuating, Colonel Hamilton?”

 

“Nothing,” Alexander said, almost sadly, staring at the scotch swirling in the glass in his hands. “It’s just some of my nonsense.” And he longed for the one for whom it had been _agreeable_ nonsense. 


End file.
